HOW TO STAY MARRIED
How to Stay Married
by Keith Bellamy
Many who read this column have not had the blessing of being married for 51 years. Many who read this column have not even contemplated marriage. And it seems like marriage is somewhat on the “down-hill slide” in our society.
My wife and I have been married for 51 years. We started going steady when we were in the ninth grade…five years before our marriage. To be honest, I don’t know if I fully understood, on December 6, 1968, that God was involved in our marriage. I guess I knew it, but I didn’t really understand how much He was involved (Romans 8:28).
The thought of “shacking up” was out of the picture. And the thought that we would try it and if we didn’t like it; then we would get out of it just didn’t come into our minds. Both of us were taught that marriage was for life (Matthew 19) and we still believe that.
One of the things we have learned is that there must be a lot of giving in marriage. I am talking about giving in to our spouse’s desires even when we don’t feel like it. We have learned from early on that God had to be in control of our lives.
After 51 years my wife “has become a second nature to myself!” We think alike. In fact, I cannot tell you how many times we have both thought and then said the same thing.
Being in the sales business provided a lot of temptations. But one thing I learned early was to run from such. My commitment to my wife was more important than anything else.
I remember, my granddad Bellamy telling me how he met my grandmother. He made the statement that after he met her, he didn’t want anyone else. I think I can honestly say the same thing about my wife. I have never wanted anyone else.
To be sure, we have had arguments. Now you may call them discussions, but they are arguments. And one thing we never have done is gone to bed angry. All that does is fester and then causes other problems. Consider Ephesians 4:26, 27 (NIV). “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
Let me say, if God is not involved in your marriage, it probably won’t work. But if God is involved in your marriage you will be blessed more than you can possibly imagine.